'Shitastic evening' or 'Get in a cab!'

So, this will be interesting.  I'm half-lit, wholly pissed, and partially horny.

Went out with friends tonight for happy hour and Mensa texted me non-stop.  All this texting after he cancelled our date last night because, "If I fuck you, I'll get attached and I'm looking for a babymama."  Ok, FINE.

Then, all the cock shots, all the sex talk, all the begging me to come over at 12:30 in the morning while he says, "It's not like I'm going to bend u over my mountain side balcony and choke you from behind, ramming deep into u... pumping you full of my cock.  Grabbing those hips of yours and ramming so hard into you, shoving my fingers in your mouth while I take you, telling you I own your little cunt... Come over for a drink."

"Uh huh," I reply.  I believed him when he said he couldn't handle me.  I'm not about to play with fire now.  But he continued, "Yeah, it's not my fault I have a TV interview in the am.  Just pop on by :)  Come on over.. You'll be a very happy girl :)  A very happy girl to take daddy's big, thick, throbbing cock and swallow all of his cum while you're being chocked and fingered and played with..."

Mind you, I never told this dude I liked that shit.  AND, meanwhile, Boss Man was blocks away being aloof and a friend had ditched me.  Suddenly, Mensa's offer didn't seem so bad.  I started walking towards where I knew I could catch a cab.

Mensa's tirade continued:

"I'd love to squirt load after load into your little fuckhole and make you take all my hot cum until it runs down your legs... Just get in a cab and get over here.  Right now."

[HE SENDS A COCK PIC]

"It's been weeks... I would tear your little pussy up all night long!!"

"Haha" (Because I have nothing else to say.  Oh, and did I mention another dude I met online is also trying to get me to come to his house to fuck him??  Um... yeah.)

"I've got 3 or 4 hot loads of cum in me tonight... u should get over here so I can splay you out on my bed and pump you full of it again and again!  You need to hop in a cab!

"Seriously!  Take a cab.  :)"  Then lots of "Whatcha doin?s" over and over then: "I'm throbbing so hard... my balls are throbbing full of hot cum for your mouth or another hole of yours :)"

OK, DUDE.  I FUCKING GET IT.

And then, in a fit of exasperation I decide I'll go.  He said he'll pay for the cab, Boss Man isn't doing what I want him to (which is to invite me to hang out - oh, and that other dude begging me to come over is a complete stranger (as opposed to an almost complete stranger like Mensa)).  I hail a cab and tell him to get on the highway, but I haven't heard from Mensa all of a sudden.  My, "OK, FINE.  I'M COMING," was met with nothing but silence.  So, I had the cabbie just take me home.

And upon walking through my door Jerry texted me. Yeah... JERRY.  Umm... no.

So, thanks, Universe, for keeping me humble and reminding me that I'm an asshole just like everyone else.

Now I need to remind myself this isn't a competition and that slow weeks happen.  Though, can this be counted as a slow week??  I don't fucking know.

Boss Man has said this weekend is "negotiable."  I'm not gonna hold my breath...

Ok.  Bed now.

[Update: Mensa texted at 6:30 am that he'd shut his eyes for just a second and... next thing he knew it was morning haha.]