'It's scary by myself' or 'No shortcuts'

I'm sitting in a coffee shop right now thinking about all the delicious men scattered about. I live in a very cool city and so I have the added luxury of all the hot cocks preened to the max: scruffy, devil may care, tight jeans, ugly glasses, stretched t-shirts with witty sayings emblazoned on firm chests. Really, it's fucking nice.

I wish I could somehow covertly broadcast to them all that I love to suck cock and worship the male form and that I'm fun, sweet, articulate and easy going. I want someone to approach me. Just once. And not at a fucking bar.

I suppose looking busy with headphones on isn't a good start, either, but, damnit, Pandora is rockin' my world right now.

Mmm. Messenger bags really do it for me.

Fuck. I'm horny. That about sums it up. It's been a week or so since fucking Mensa (and I use "fucking" as an adjective there -- oh, and what a joke that was, right??).

I had three dates lined up today, but Mr. Charming had to reschedule and Englishman got axed when I discovered he thought our lunch date was just so we could fuck (I've never met the dumb bastard!).  I still have a date with the Kid at 10 pm, though. I'll drink some coffee at 4, I guess, and I'll see how his 25 measures up to my 35. 6'3", charming and attractive gets him to at least 27.

I've realized that meeting men off of AFF sans Giant is really scary for me. The men come on so strong, and despite being open about sex and my body I still don't want to feel used, cheap, or objectified. With Giant around I felt grounded, known, moderately cared about.  He'd check in on me; I knew he'd protect me if anyone crossed a line.  He was there. His absence leaves me more shy than ever and extra sensitive to the way men approach and treat me.  I feel like I've been shoved out on stage and the spot light is ON.

The Englishman blew it. Others have blown it in the past. There's a delicate balance of respecting my boundaries, being bold, and knowing the difference between lewd and titillating. It's complex and its own litmus test.

And I'm in a catch-22. The sex site allows me to screen for cock size and attitudes, but the men are boars and the dating site allows me to be courted, but I have no clue if their sexual endowments or proclivities match mine.

I'm sorta fucked. I guess the lesson here is there are no shortcuts.

Tomorrow, I hope to go out with a man I've met twice already. He's youngish, hot as fuck and I can't figure out what to call him except "Do Over".

Last time we met it was a disaster, but even so he wanted to ask me to go back to his place with him. I had no idea. And now that I do, hopefully we can make some of our own fireworks this weekend.

Sunday I hope to meet Grad Student. He's fit, shortish, and well-endowed (8" and thick). He found me on AFF just like Do Over did and has been learning the ropes of talking to me. He's flubbed a time or two, but has quickly recovered and that says a lot about him. He wants to do FMFs with me if we click. Hmmm. I'll give it another go, I guess! I'm a trooper like that.

So... it's time to blow this joint. Later, coffee house full of hot dudes!. I'm off to drive around this hot ass town with my windows down and my skin buzzing from a caffeine high! Woofuckinghoo. Wish me luck this weekend, y'all!

.....

PS: Is that even an attractive photo of me??  What the hell was I thinking??  Oh well.