'Men are goddamned nutty' or 'OHJEEZUSWTFLOL'

My text stream from the other night:

9:45 pm
Big Guy: Hows your date [with Mr. California] going?

10:10 pm
Me-BG: S'ok.  Not bowled over :)

10:36 pm
Big Guy: Meh it happens.  Maybe he has a 12 inch c0ck

12:38 am
Me-BG: Headed home - no sex.  I got shy lol

Big Guy: Wtf? He aint me.  Damn.

Me-BG: He was awesome - I just seized up and he respected that :)  I was a bit confused as to what I wanted.  It's good.  I'll see him again weds ;)

Big Guy: Really? I got my watch [from your house earlier today].  Im done.  I dont need shit yur into.  Ive dropped 3 bitches this week. Good luck in yur Journey.

Peace out

I want something real

12:44 am
Mr. California: Please let me know you made it home safely :)

Me-Mr. CA: In bed, in my pjs :)

1:00 am
Mr. California: In not my bed, naked :)

Me-Mr. CA: lol.  Naturally

Mr. California: Thank you for your effervescence, uninhibited revelations and sterling conversatoins.  I enjoyed being close to you.  I'll ravish you another time :)

Me-Mr. CA: Wow, thanks for your kind words and promises.  Sorry I seized up; it happens :)

Mr. California: Don't apologize.  We just met. ;)  I'd love to taste you, but when you're hungry for it.  I'd rather it was something you craved, and get you in a frenzied state, anxious for more

Me-Mr. CA: ;)

1:02 am
Me-BG:  Haha ok :)

Big Guy: Done goodbye.  Have fun.  Im serious.

Me-BG: No, I believe you.  Does this mean we can't be cool when we hang out with Joe together?

Big Guy: Done.  I dont hang with fukin metro Joe.

Me-BG: Aight